You Are Not Too Much

To those of you who were told we are too much, this is for you.  Too much what?  It doesn’t matter.  Too loud, too aggressive, too big, too small, too loud, too shy, too confident, too standoffish, I could go on and on with this list.  Let me tell you something right now.  You are not too much.  You are just enough.

You see, we aren’t all supposed to be the same.  But sometimes who you are makes other people uncomfortable.  That reaction of others to you isn’t about you.  It is about the person who told you that you were too much.  They were bothered by you and your just enough-ness.

How you showed up in that moment did not invite feedback.  That feedback was forced upon you in an attempt to dim your light or to make you feel less than.  Don’t let it. 

I have numerous experiences when how I showed up caused discomfort in others, so they wanted to cause discomfort for me.  A story that comes immediately to mind was when I was a junior litigator (that’s someone who appears in court for those unfamiliar with the term), a partner included in my review that I “had too much of an edge.”  Truly, a baffling critique of a lawyer who is supposed to appear in court and strongly advocate for her clients.  

The world needs whatever you have extra of.  It is not a weakness; it is a strength.  Your introversion makes you thoughtful and you can add a new dimension of thinking to a project that will make it better.  Your big volume makes you heard as an advocate for yourself and others.  Your body is a good body because all bodies are good bodies worthy of respect, autonomy, and stylish clothing.  You don’t need to shrink or change yourself to be worthy.    

You are just enough. Just as you are.   

Please consider this an invitation to share your “too much” story with others so we can learn from it.  And if you can’t get your own inner critic to stop calling you “too much,” consider coaching to learn a new way to talk to yourself.